Fighting Death

I have suffered many burdens in the last nine years. What I just went through on Saturday, Sunday and this morning—I fought death. Saturday was a terrible day, all I could hear was, “You’re dying,” but the Lord had told me I wasn’t going to die. I’m staying here and see Jesus return.

Sunday night, I arrived home after the evening program and headed up the stairs saying, “I will live and not die and declare the works of the Lord.” I was awake for hours, dealing with the pain. I had Terry Mai’s songs playing at a good volume. I heard KD speaking the name of Jesus. I drifted in and out of sleep. At 2:30 I woke KD and asked, “Where are we?”

“We are at the Arena, in bed,” she answered.

“We can’t be.”

“We are in bed, we are listening to Terry Mai’s songs.”

“The ones at our house?”

“Yes. Right here in our bedroom.”

I laid awake, thinking, “I’m in trouble and there is no one to help me. There is no hope.” It was a lonely, scary time. I raised up in bed and said, “There is nobody that can help me.” And then, “Jesus has to help me.” I started talking to the Lord, “Jesus, this is a miserable way to be, you can help me. You’ve got to help me, you’ve got to help me.” Pretty soon I started saying, “Jesus, you are my helper, Jesus you are my helper,” and a little later, “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be delivered,” (Joel 2:32). I laid back down, my belly was sore, hurting—I felt like I wanted to vomit and couldn’t, and I finally started saying, “I thank God! Thank God!” I believe I went to sleep thanking God.

I woke up again and asked KD what time it was, she replied, “4:44”. I went back to sleep, waking again shortly after 5:00 and said, “I can’t go on the set today. I can’t do it, I don’t know what we’ll do.” I fell asleep again and woke up just before 7:00 and said, “I sure can’t go on the set today, I don’t know what we’ll do.” I slept again until KD woke me at 8:10; this time I said, “I think I’ll go on the set for three or four minutes.” I kept talking to KD, saying, “I’ve got to go on the set and tell this,” but by the hour’s end I could say, “I’ll be on the set.”

Well, I was on set and for the whole hour and it wasn’t too bad.

Terre took me to my office, and my couch, at 12:45 PM. Kathie told me, “I’ll be back with the guys and we’ll pray at 1:30.” When she returned, I was sound asleep. “I’m not going to bother him,” she said. At 2:15, Terre came to my office, touched me on my face and shoulder and I didn’t move. “Lord, he’s sound asleep,” she said. She came back at 2:45, saw me move and asked, “Doyle are you awake?” I started half-way talking to her and she asked, “Has anyone read Steddie’s email to you?” She read it to me and I understood everything.

At 3:15 I got off the couch and as Terre was driving me home she started telling me about Lark, Lily, Amy and Lou Ann. I wasn’t one bit happy what I heard. Well that’s not me. I walked into the house and KD asks, “What’s going on?” I started weeping then and told her, “I’m trying to deal with something about Lark. I said “Lord you can’t do this to me, and then have this happen to this one—one that doesn’t live. I can’t handle it, you can’t do it to me.”

KD shared with me a song the Lord had her post on her Facebook, “Then Came The Morning.” I asked her to post it to my page which she did. She asked if I wanted a sandwich.

“No, I answered, “But I’ll have some cheese and crackers. After one I said, “I don’t want this, I’m fasting.”

God bless,
Doyle Davidson
Servant and apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ

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